She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
