i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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