we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize