so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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