oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
