Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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