I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
