Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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