Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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