is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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