News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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