i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
