i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
