I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
