I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
