Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize