i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
