Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
