I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
