If that was your dad, he is hot
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
