now i know why i became what i already was.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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