yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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