Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
