What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
