Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
