she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
