i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
