i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
