i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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