We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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