You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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