I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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