Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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