It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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