Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
