Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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