ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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