Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
