used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
