i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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