and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
