HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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