Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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