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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i used baking grease as lip gloss
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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