belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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