You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
