found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize