HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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