She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
