I heard we made out
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am spending my child support on dildos
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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