Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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