Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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