that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How does it feel to date your dad?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
