Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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