ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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