I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
