she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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