I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
